How has aWhiteBlankPage affected the fandom? The easiest way for me to explain that is to explain how she has affected me personally. I am almost exclusively a non-canon author, although I tend to read anything and everything I can get my hands on. The remarkable thing about this author is that her writing style is such that the story stays with you long after you finish it.
Her work doesn’t feel like fanfiction; it’s more like a very vivid motion picture complete with sight, smell, taste, and touch. You don’t just read about these characters; you experience life with them. She carefully weaves such engaging worlds that you can’t help but want to crawl inside and stay there forever.
One of the quotes from her story, Honest Liar, perfectly sums up her own writing style: “She was always giving feelings to things that don’t feel.” From a willow tree, to dining room wallpaper, to red glittery shoes, to an old barn, aWhiteBlankPage takes these simple objects and breathes life into them in such a way that they feel like actual characters.
aWhiteBlankPage has the rare ability to say so much in just a few deliberate words. When I was looking for quotes for the blinkie, it was much more challenging to narrow them down than I thought it would be. Every line aWhiteBlankPage writes is quote-worthy. Every line speaks deeply.
The characters she gives us are all so deeply flawed that you begin to believe there is no redemption for any of them. Even the secondary characters have such depth. Her stories are woven in so many layers, and just when you think you’ve unraveled everything, she throws in another twist, another event or characteristic that suddenly changes everything. Suddenly, you know precisely why Edward did this or Bella said that, and you can’t help but root for them even more.
Despite the high levels of angst in her stories, she doesn’t leave you washed up and hung out to dry. She gently leads the story back up the slope and gives the characters—and us poor readers—the resolution we’re all searching for. I’d like to share a bit about some of her stories.
Honest Liar: This story pulls at the heartstrings more than any other. She writes from her heart and her personal experiences, and you can feel that in every word. The way each word and each phrase are selected so carefully to draw you into the world she’s spun for these characters, it’s true artistry at its basest form. You leave the story with hope and faith that redemption is ultimately possible for anyone.
Pocket Change: Wow… What can I even say about this story? It’s more than a classic; I would describe it as an epic. There are so many levels and twists and turns that just when you think you’ve reached the bottom and figured everything out, another twist throws you right back on your rear. The way there are real-life events tied in with the characters gives this story a more lifelike feel than her other fics.
The thing I enjoy most about this story is the way the characters you don’t like have such depth to them. Rose, Carlisle, and even Renee have such awful behaviors, and you think they’re completely irredeemable, but as the story progresses, we peel back layers of their lives and begin to learn just why they do some of the things they do.
aWhiteBlankPage is definitely deserving of this Fandom Achievement Award. Her stories take us on a journey away from our everyday lives, and more than that, they make us think. Fanfiction, at its base, is an escape. Her stories are the best vehicles for that escape. I can’t imagine fanfic without aWhiteBlankPage’s work, and I’m grateful she chose to share those talents with us.
“Everything I had done in my life seemed to lead up to this moment. The moment when I found myself bound inextricably to a man I didn't love, trapped in a life I didn't want, unable to leave for fear of having nowhere to go. If I left him, I would be entirely alone.”
I scrolled past this story for years before I decided to click on it and read it. It wasn’t because I wasn’t interested—I was—but from the summary, I knew straight away that this story wasn’t going to be bright and shiny; it was something deeper, darker, maybe even painful to read.
My expectations were right; it was deep, it was dark, and it was painful, but it was also incredibly beautiful, moving, and powerful. It’s funny that it came down to expectations, because chrometurtle titled this fic so aptly.
Expectations and Other Moving Pieces.
Each character in this story has expectations for how they feel the people around them should be, how they should behave, and yet, they are never met, because these expectations are built on expectations about each other that are inherently wrong.
The title first made me think of a chessboard, various pieces moving in calculated ways, but having reflected on the story, I think it’s more like dominos; one piece falls, and then another, and another. Every action by one person, however thought out, causes a reaction that is usually unexpected until all the pieces are strewn around chaotically.
Expectations and Other Moving Pieces is categorically one of the best pieces of writing I have ever had the experience of reading on Fanfiction.net. Bella and Edward’s characters are dislikeable to the point of frustration. Yet, as the story is woven around them, you begin to understand them, and that understanding, that depth, makes their connections with each other and those around them even more heartbreaking and beautiful.
Bella and Edward’s behaviour, the people they are, is rooted in their past. chrometurtle allows you to see pieces of it, allows you to recognise their motivations and behaviour, and through this, an emotional attachment is formed, not necessarily to the characters but to their relationship with each other, the trials and tribulations that got them to this point.
This story will take you on a journey that at times causes a genuine ache in your chest and brings a smile to your face at others. It shows that love is intricate and not always perfect, that people put each other on pedestals, that they use each other, and that love can be heartbreaking and horrible, just as much as it can be wonderful and unique.
Expectations and Other Moving Pieces presents a quintessentially human story. It demonstrates how life is rooted in experiences, both good and bad, and that who we are is shaped by moments and decisions we make, that the people around us make.
Sadly, the story is unfinished, but I’ll repeat here what I wrote in my review after finishing the story: “I wish this had been finished, and yet, in its incompleteness, it almost is the perfect end. Nothing in this story is smooth, and a jagged space where the end should slot in is almost necessary.”
Nine years on from when chrometurtle last updated the fic, it is still being followed, favourited, and reviewed. This is a fanfiction that stands the test of time and is loved now just as intensely as when it was first posted.
This piece of writing thoroughly deserves this award, and although chrometurtle’s identity is unknown, I genuinely hope they have continued to write, because they are incredibly talented.
I’ll leave you with this quote, one of many incredible lines in this work.
"You told me 'always'."
He answered me. "You told me 'never'."
I have to admit that when I was asked to write a tribute to Nolebucgrl, the panic started to set in. Not because I don’t think she deserves the honor. On the contrary, I think she’s an amazing author and extremely prolific. It’s that I came to her stories later in the game and felt I was undeserving of the honor to write about her. Plus, I hadn’t read all twenty-two of her stories, leading to the only homework I’ve ever truly enjoyed. So while I was already familiar with the iconic Cockyback and Reed Girl, I got to meet WordsWard and ScraBella, among others. Side note: I had no idea Words with Friends and Words with Strangers would feed my obsession with techversations. (That’s my word in Urban Dictionary. Use it!) If nothing else, I thank you for that, Nolebucgrl!
If you ask anyone in the fandom to associate one word with Nolebucgrl, it would be football. Or cats. But probably football. And as a football fan myself, I couldn’t be happier that she brought the sport to the fandom and highlighted it in her stories. In fact, she and I bonded over our love of the game through PMs on Fanfiction.net while she was writing To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and that’s not even one of the stories that revolves around football. For that, you would have to read First & Ten or Sideline Collision and its sequel, Getting Blitzed. Those are the stories where her genuine passion for the game shines through. But for those of you that aren’t football fans—are there people like that?—there’s plenty of banter, love, lemons, and great supporting characters to keep you engaged.
Speaking of great supporting characters, Nolebucgrl is a master at creating them! I think her trouble-making Emmetts in First & Ten, Words with Friends, and Words with Strangers are some of my favorites, but her potty-mouthed but ever-loyal Rose and sassy Kate in Words with Friends and Words with Strangers are amazing too! Then there’s the unforgettable Jasper in Sideline Collision. Any dude who would loosen up an uptight grandmother by smoking a doobie with her is my kind of guy! Of course, Rainbow the Cat in Sideline Collision and Getting Blitzed must be the most amazing pet ever to grace a quarterback’s shoulder. It’s worth the read for that image alone. Can we hear a collective “Awwwwwwww”?
Nolebucgrl isn’t a one-trick pony, though. Oh, no. Her characters and plots range from a bored vampire in Fill Me with Your Poison, to eager fangirls in Words with Friends, to a well-read baseball player in The Summer Girl, to a precocious child in Sue Me. She’s also not afraid to put her own spin on things, just as she did with Eclipse in Sacrificial Lamb or To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, a new take on the movie of the same name—not to mention her two original published books, Code Red and The Hot Corner, under the name Amy Noelle.
However, some things that hold true in all of her writing are that they’re filled with wit, humor, and of course, romance. Psst! There are some very lemony lemons in many of them, as well. Yummm. What more can a reader ask for?
"shouldbecleaning. shouldbecleaning?! Well, that’s an unusual name. Should I trust her with my happy place, or does her writing need a thorough cleaning too? Hmmm... She writes period pieces… All right, then. Let’s give her a chance."
As far as my memory goes, that was what my arrogant thoughts were when I first came upon A Swallow to A Dove years ago. I was new with my fanfic account and new on Facebook too. Finding stories through the last-updated list was my go-to way. I started the fic, and any thought about cleaning anything out of her writing never came to my mind. I devoured that story. A while later, when another story from this shouldbecleaning lady was posting, I found her pimping her creation for the first time in a group, and everything changed that moment. I jumped on the fanwagon, and after six years, I can fight anyone off, except Flora and Buster—I’m right fearful of those two felines—who want to touch their dirty shoes on the comfy carpet I’m lying on and enjoy her neverending treats. shouldbecleaning to Hilary and to my dear Twiny, a crushing fangirl to a spoiled spectator of her creative process and a tiny part of her magical wonderland, what a journey it has been. I can go on and on about how she has become one of my most cherished friends or how she brightens my day with just a single sentence, but she has a far greater purpose for our Twi universe, which she excels in on a daily basis.
The word “assortment”’ has a different meaning when it comes to her stories. Variety dominates her subject matters significantly. From the shades of days long gone to the rainbows and storms of the present time, she touches everything. We become enriched by her knowledge of remarkable historical events and the diverse cultural tapestry of the North American continent. Each plot takes a 123-degree turn from the last one. Each character embarks on a completely opposite road from the one their namesakes took in the previous tale.
How many kinds of Edward do you want? A prince, a commoner, a rake, a perfect gentleman, a Scotsman, a Canadian Mountie, a kidney-stealing cold-hearted CEO, a tutu-wearing love-incarnate dad, an arrogant teenager acting holier than thou, an old widower still quite drenched in his lifelong romance, a man upturning his world for love, a man mutilating his love to achieve fame, an exemplary but lovesick chef competing for his girl’s attention, a lovesick husband capable of killing every possible and impossible recipe. You name it, you have it.
And her Bellas. The first thing that comes to my mind is that every time I look into a mirror, I can see one of them in it. Yes, with our every feminine glory, our every misguided shortcoming, every achievement, every failure, our insecurities, and our strength, everything that makes us a woman, I can find it in them. A fragment of each of our psyche can be found in them. Hilary says, “I’m just the puppet master, not the theatre owner.” What she doesn’t know is that her “puppets” are more realistic than many humans we see roaming around!
And boy, she writes some words! The term “wordsmith” seems to be made for her. I’ve never seen such matter-of-fact words create such havoc in the readers’ minds. She starts a story with her droll observations and turns mundane things into a riot. It’s just the way she makes up the obviousness of a situation; our visualization takes us to the floor, rolling on it and laughing our asses off. Humour is her strongest forte. Only she can make her heroine kick the hero in the back of his leg to put him down on one knee to say, “Yes!” The least dramatic fashion of storytelling prevails her more serious-themed or angsty stories too. No repetition, not a single extra word, no exaggeration, not a phrase without purpose. Less is always more for her. However, that doesn’t mean they’re less on their intended impact. I’m still awestruck with her talent and always will be.
However, it’s not only her written words she leaves as her legacy in this fandom. shouldbecleaning is one of those few human beings who doesn’t need any cleaning when it comes to her character or personality: generous to a fault, brutally honest with a heart of gold, always having a bright side of things to present, uplifting others’ spirits, even when she’s struggling to smile on a bad day. She is the perfect Mister Rogers we could have ever asked for!
Hilary once said this about her fanfic name: “I think the name is one of the reasons I got so many readers. Come for the name, stay for the story. I'm so glad I talked myself out of FartFace. No one would have read anything.”
Well, my dear Twiny, I’m glad too but not for the reason you stated! That rainbow-smelling nomenclature or Dismal-Dreaming-Giglet or Knotty-pated or any unearthly name your mischievous brain could have come up with… Anyone who gets one sentence in will always be hooked to your wonderful world of written words. My reason is that nothing suits you more than this! It holds the divine anticipation of something more lucrative than a shiny house. It’s the best incentive to remain hidden in our happy place and forget the full laundry basket or the bottle of Clorox. Nobody shouldbeceaning, especially you!
With Teeth has always stood apart from all of the other fanfiction stories I’ve ever read, and what made it so different then is what’s kept me rereading it over the years. At first glance, the story is familiar: Bella returns to Forks after living out of state and then meets and develops a crush on Edward, who’s attractive, mysterious, and angst-ridden. TalulaBlue took the bones of Twilight, stripped the fantasy elements, and crafted a beautiful, delicate, real story about a boy and girl who are drawn to each other by powerful chemistry. They fall in love for the first time, despite the reasons they should keep it platonic, but are forced apart soon after by addiction. The switching of perspectives between Edward and Bella never feels forced or repetitive. Their thoughts and personalities are so beautifully drawn and always feel incredibly authentic. In the beginning, we come upon Edward as he’s sinking to the lows that only addiction to drugs and alcohol can bring, and the writer pulls no punches with the ugliness of that life. Edward’s internal monologue throughout those episodes of drunken, high-fueled rage contrasts starkly with his personality when he’s in recovery, swinging from sneering arrogance and hedonistic greed to anxious, tentative, and hesitant, desperately trying to exert self-control and avoid dealing with his many issues while maintaining sobriety.
Meanwhile, Bella is adjusting to life after getting her degree in Boston and gets a job in Jasper’s bookstore. She’s intelligent and kind, and just reading her perspective filled me with nostalgia for that post-college youth; she’s never been in love, never had sex, never been tested by the sorrows life can throw at us. From the start, it feels as if she and Edward are on a collision course, and when that smash happens, the resulting fallout leaves marks on both of them, though only one of them is sober and aware enough to really let themselves feel it. What impresses me anew on every reread is that despite the inevitability of Edward’s descent back into booze and drugs, TalulaBlue makes his attempts to claw his way out of it and back into sobriety feel relatable, understandable, hard-earned. She also excels at writing the male perspective; I feel like for many writers, it’s easy to create Edward as a romantic hero with no flaws, and even the “bad boy” is a popular trope. In this story, Edward may be attractive and Bella may have loved him, but he’s a pretty unappealing prospect who has to develop emotional honesty and intelligence in order to find his way out of the dark. This means therapy, accountability, understanding his own fallibility, and what led him to the place he reached. And part of that accountability means making his peace with Bella, but of course, it doesn’t end there.
It’s very much a testament to this story’s incredible realness and the writer’s work when developing the characters that when they meet again, Bella and Edward are very different from who each was several years ago. Hearing their perspectives on their younger selves and their relationship is touching. Their discussions on why their relationship fell apart and their developing, renewed friendship are filled with this touching sense of truth. Full disclosure: My father was an alcoholic, so I recognized elements of his behavior and personality, although I know logically it’s because of the addict behavior. It made me wonder who in the writer’s life had struggled with sobriety, with emotional or mental health issues, and self-medicated to make the pain go away. The last third of the story leaves us with hope—hope that with communication, self-awareness, and hard work, we can achieve happiness and love despite our flaws and difficulties. I think the accomplishment of that, the realistic journey through darkness and heartbreak to understanding and joy, is what’s kept With Teeth at the top of my favorites list for this long.
There are a lot of memorable stories in the Twilight fandom that qualify as angst, but this one has been recognized among readers as a heavy hitter in that regard, which is absolutely justified; love not being enough to hold a relationship together and not being able to fix people are both sadly relatable themes. There’s also something rare and epic about Edward’s long journey to healing and self-awareness to become Bella’s friend and partner, and I believe its authenticity and beautiful dialogue are why it’s deserving of its fandom hall-of-fame status. It’s still painful and lovely on every reread.
Fanfiction is an escape.
It’s a break from reality and a visit with old friends. It’s comfort and excitement, sometimes heartbreak or terror, but always entertainment. As writers, readers, and editors, we have taken the ideas of a beloved author and bent them to suit our whims. In doing so, we have gained entrance to a fandom filled with like-minded people. We’ve made friends, pals, and sometimes enemies, but we allow this common thread to unite us.
Twilight has lent itself to many different genres and scenarios. One of the most popular and lasting is within the medical field. Stephenie Meyer gave us Dr. Cullen. We have enjoyed him, given medical skills to almost every character in the saga through our stories, and will continue to do so eagerly. We love to play doctor within this fandom.
Encapsulated in our fandom is a group of people that—this year, in particular—is in need of such an escape. When daily life is filled with fear of the unknown, of the virus, and of the system that asked extraordinary sacrifices of them, they stood at the front of the line to protect, serve, and teach. This year, due to a worldwide pandemic that has touched every single one of us, on behalf of the TwiFic Fandom Awards staff, I’d like to honour the nurses, cleaners, doctors, pharmacy workers, teachers, and frontline people who have given so much to us this year.
In this horrible year, we learned just what essential really meant to us. In some small way, I hope that those of you who are deemed essential know just how much you are appreciated. Overworked and taken for granted at times, underpaid—most assuredly—but finally, appreciated by us.
Thank you to all the Twilight fandom members who toiled this year to keep the rest of us safe.
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